My So Called Dating Life – Mr. Congeniality Is Not An Authorized User November 24, 2009

Over the past 3+ weeks I have been giving OkCupid a go. My plan was to focus my efforts on dating “nice guys”. It backfired. Well, perhaps “backfired” is the wrong term, but I did come to the realization that I’m just not hard-wired to date a nice fella.

What do I mean by that you ask? Well that’s a touch hard to define, but in my mind a nice guy is a someone who is everything a gal could want “on paper”. Smart, funny, sweet, traditional and all that nonsense. In any case, I went on 3 different dates with guys that seemed “nice” (translation: they did not have an edge to them. They were what most mothers would be happy to see their daughter with).

I quickly discovered that “nice” equated to “boring”. Now, don’t get me wrong, these men were in every sense of the word lovely, just not for me. Which leads me to think that it has got to be something wrong on my end. Why is it that I like men who have that spark to them? That slightly wild and ridiculous sense of humor? Or man-childish way about them? My only conclusion is that is has to be because that type of personality kind of mirrors mine. A little nutty (or a lot depending on who you ask). Fairly brash, and a bit of a kid. Sure I take my day job seriously, but for many that have had the opportunity to see me under the circumstances of social interaction can vouch for he fact that I wave my “shenanigans” flag quite high. Do something stupid, you say? I’m totes down for getting into hijinks.

My best friend (@CharlieTrouble) knows that one of the best ways to get me out of a for shit mood is to take me to Toys R’ Us (yes, I am serious), and he did so a few weeks ago. We got new mini Nerf guns for us to use at the office (sidebar: my boss was not pleased).

So, now here I am, back where I started. Trying to figure out this whole dating as an adult thing. It’s exhilarating and frustrating all at the same time, but I’m taking my time with it. The right fella for me has got to be out there somewhere. Possibly he’s partial to video games, or perhaps he’s a quirky writer, or maybe his guilty pleasure is that he has a nostalgic love for pro-wrestling. Whatever the case, he’ll think that I’m all sorts of awesome and life will be grand.

My So Called Dating Life – Mom’s Checklist November 12, 2009

My family is le awesome–for realsies. We are a hybrid of The Cleavers and The Adams Family with a dash of The Bundys thrown in for good measure (my mother would murdercate me about the Bundy bit, but it’s kind of true in a completely not trailer-trash sort of way). I share just about everything with my immediate family, so they are fully aware of my dating situations and stories and they know of this blog, but they understand my want for some privacy and haven’t asked for the link (praise Jesus!).

Recently my father has made it his business to relay to me on a weekly basis how badly he wants grandchildren. He doesn’t care how, or if I get married or not, just that I become a baby-making-machine and start producing offspring so that he can teach them the joys of video games / judo / boxing / weapons / military strategy. And for the record, he has also requested (because I obviously have control over such things) that I have girls, because not enough women know how to wield a set of nunchakus (and yes, I can do that–thanks Dad!). So…yea…my Dad is–pretty frakkin amazing (albeit a little ridiculous when it comes to my baby-making ideals–like the fact that it would help if I actually wanted a baby at this juncture in my life).

The other night my father was going on and on about grandchildren (naturally), me cringing, and then my mother’s check-list came up. Mom’s Check List (or MCL) is a fine tuned list of all of the things that she has hated about my past boyfriends / guys I have gone out with. In her mind, for a man to be an acceptable partner for me they must:

***Disclaimer***

The following does not reflect the notions that the author of this post have. However, all people who find these ideals offensive can send a message to Mia.Martin@IDontGiveADamnAboutWhatYouFindOffensive.com

1. Never been married.

(Because previously married men are trouble, with the exception of my father (of course), who got married at the age of 19 and had it annulled 6 months later. Remember, what’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander)

2. Not have children.

(Because she doesn’t want to deal with other people’s germ-carrier monkeys)

3. Be at least 6′ tall.

(Because short men have Napoleon complexes. Also, since my mother’s side of the family is seriously tiny, I therefore carry 1/2 of a “short-gene”. And even though I’m 5′ 6″, my father is 6′ 2″ and my kid bro is 6′1″ if I have babies with a short man the chances of me having a short kid is higher. Which brings us full circle – short men have Napoleon complexes–this is assuming that I have boys)

4. Not be Italian.

(Because they are too charming. Translation: Italian men will cheat)

5. Be gainfully employed.

(Because although my mother supports my decision to be financially independent, she thinks that there is no such thing as too much when it comes to money)

6. Own property (preferably, a lot of it).

(Because her daughter should never have to rent)

7. Never wear flip-flops.

(Because flip-flops are for girls)

I can see the reasoning behind some of the above (like the flip-flop thing), but for the most part I think that she’s a little insane (must be where mine derives from).

My So Called Dating Life – Profile Photo Clichés November 4, 2009

I’ve been avoiding blogging properly the past two weeks. Chiefly because a fella did something to really piss me off. I’m not going to go into details, but lets just say it was douche-y (and no one likes it when someone pulls a d-bag maneuver. Especially when they try to edge their way back in by pretending that they didn’t just pull one). Moving on…

So yea, back to the dating playground for me. At the recommendation of many, I decided to throw my ballot into the OKCupid box. Honestly, it’s been a real interesting trip thus far. I dig the interface and there are lots of cool features and it’s free (who doesn’t like free?). Now, some of you know about my experiences with Match.com (specifically, my disdain for it–it’s like Match.com is where the desperate go to die), but OKC is a little different–it’s where the youngish (24 to 40ish), slightly jaded (or in my case, seriously jaded) dating crowd hangs out–so I feel like I’m in pretty good company.

Profile Photos–they are important, because let’s all be honest, we’re all a bit pickier when it comes to chosing a date from the comfort of our own home while wearing PJ pants and a t-shirt that you wouldn’t be caught dead in on the street. In real life, we aren’t that choosy, but on the net if there isn’t attraction straight away, you move onto to the next profile. It’s as if our dating standards raise a notch or two, and I’m completely fascinated by this concept. Basically, it seems that it all comes down to biology the first go around, and then to what I like to call “banter-chemistry” (otherwise known as electronic correspondence compatibility).

Back to my point–dating profile photos and what they say about you–I’ve noticed a trend among men; many of them tend to have the same 4 snaps sprinkled in the mix and they are as follows:

Exhibit A – Kids

I don’t care if you’re an uncle. Photos of children instantly make my ovaries shrink. Perhaps you are trying to convey that you are loving and warm and all that jazz, but really it just kind of freaks me out.

Exhibit B – Travel shots

I get it – you’ve been places. Yes, you are quite worldly.

Exhibit C – Animals (specifically cats)

Sure, they’re adorable but c’mon, a shot of you and your cat just gives me the notion that you are a pansy. (Note: I’m a dog person through and through and just cannot get behind the love for cats. At some point my life I got it in my head that men who own cats are weak–I don’t know why and I don’t know how but I just do–is it unfair of me to judge? Sure. Do I care? Not in the slightest)

Exhibit D – Other women

This is one thing that is a bit of a phenom to me–why would you post photos of yourself with chicks? Should I compare my hotness to hers as a standard? This, I will never understand, perhaps someone can shed some light on this for me?

In closing, leave out the kids (unless of course, you actually have kids and if that’s the case, please please please do not message me), the cats, the random shot of you taken at the top of some temple in Central America–you can tell me all these wonderfully awesome (less the cat) things during electronic banter, or even better–in real-time.

Who Has the Best Online Dating Profile Contest October 29, 2009

I’m a little late with posting this (my b).

In any event 2ChicksINC has a contest / promotion going on in conjunction with OKCupid and SurveyGizmo. It runs until November 30th, 2009 and is pretty neat. Clicky the linky to the right to vote (you can do so without joining, but if you are interested in online dating I have to admit that OKC is pretty sweet and totally free).

Official Details:

New York, NY (October 20, 2009) – 2ChicksINC, announces Who Has the Best Online Dating Profile Contest together with OKCupid and SurveyGizmo.

Starting today, members of OkCupid will have the opportunity to enter the Who Has the Best Online Dating Profile Contest. This contest is intended to show off the smart, attractive, diverse and very dateable people who are currently using OkCupid.

OkCupid has emerged as one of the online dating industry’s most exciting and innovative sites with 3.5 million users and growing rapidly.  Contest promoters of the Who Has the Best Online Dating Profile Contest will be using the power of social media to generate buzz to promote the contest and showcase many of the site’s users.

The Who Has the Best Online Dating Profile Contest is free, and open to all OkCupid members.  Non-members will have the opportunity to vote both on OkCupid or through one of a dozen blogs* that are working with OkCupid to showcase the contest.

The contest runs from October 20, 2009, to November 30, 2009.  Winners will be announced on December 2, 2009.  All contest participants will be automatically enrolled in a sweepstakes for $250 cash.

*Blogs currently publicizing the contest

Sex, Lies and Dating in the City
Lostplum
Little Miss Sarcasm
Suddenly Singles
Midtown Girl
Single Gal in the City
Rantings of a Single Girl
20-forty.com
KB in NYC
Single City Guy
You Make My Date
Dating and Mating in America
Notes from the Dating Trenches
The Relationship Diva
Dating is Miserable
Swimming with Sharks
Not Your Mother’s Playground